THE ANTI-CLIMAX
Just an update to my last post...
Yes, I saw the Cute Guy last night. But I didn't speak to him. Even if I'd wanted to I wouldn't have had much of an opportunity.
There is one thing I've got to share with you all. I was standing in line in the lobby of the venue waiting to be let in (the doors hadn't opened to the public yet) when he walked in & walked right past me to get in. (He was hosting, remember?) So I managed to get a good albeit brief look at him. His hair was permed. PERMED. I didn't think guys did that anymore. It was hysterical. He looked like a fucking poodle!
Shifting gears now...I think at some point I mentioned a dating site for crazies. I put a profile up there about 4 years ago & haven't done much with it since. In 2004 I met the one and only person I've ever met face-to-face through that site. It was our one and only meeting.
Anyway, I got a response yesterday, and it appeared to be the first semi-normal response I've gotten from the site in years. Honest to God, I get so many responses from these mama's boys in their 50s who still live at home because they can't hold down a job & they just want someone to latch onto & suck the life out of. And most of them aren't anywhere NEAR where I live. (Thank God!)
So this respondent is local. He tells me upfront that he's not interested in dating me (for religious reasons), but that he's open to meeting & talking & hanging out. So far so good. At least he's being honest & not leading me on, right? No pressure, right?
Wrong. I emailed him a response yesterday afternoon. When I got home from the event late last night I checked my email. The guy had sent me 3 emails. THREE! In less than a 12-hour period!
This seems to be my perpetual problem. I'm too crazy for the normal people to deal with, but the crazies are too crazy for me to deal with.
THE VICIOUS CIRCLE
...OK, maybe not vicious, but pretty fucking ironic if you ask me.
2 years ago this very weekend, I was fired from my job at Prestigious Institution & subsequently spent the better part of the evening crying on the Cute Guy's shoulder. 1 year ago this weekend, I found out that the Cute Guy was still traumatized by the events of that night & still judged me for it, for which I basically said the hell with it & gave up on him.
And THIS weekend, I will be seeing him for only the second time since I wrote my "Thank you now grow up already" email to him, to which he never responded.
And the first time doesn't really count, since it was a 30-second conversation in an elevator with him trying to make polite small talk & me responding in monosyllables.
I'm certainly not making it a point to see him. Hell, I'm not even planning to talk to him. He's hosting an event that I attend every year. I'm going for the event and not for him. But that doesn't mean I won't try to look my very best & show that I'm doing just fine without him around, thank you very much.
Sorry I haven't blogged much lately. But there's really not much for me to blog about. The GAD & the depression are pretty much in check for the moment.
